Why is someone else's hymen any of your business?

I was talking with a Muslim friend about a * girl we both know who is in her early 20's. She said "I hope she's a virgin". That kinda took me by surprise! I should have asked her why the hell it was her business, but I think I was kinda shocked by what she said so I didn't. I told her she has a boyfriend so probably not.

She would not have asked that if we had been talking about a guy. Of course not! It's the GIRL'S hymen which is so freaking important! Why is what a girl does everyone else's business, esp. something that's so private? This just kinda burns me up. Even if it's important in YOUR religion, that doesn't mean everyone else in the world has to adhere to what you believe.

Thank goodness I've been married, or she'd be all up in mine too.

* Arabs call any female who hasn't been married a girl, no matter her age. They would consider my sister a girl too, even though she's 42 and been on her own and supported herself since college!

~ A, not muslim anymore ~

GTA's Secret World of Polygamy

Click link above to view full article

There were no pleasantries, there was no small talk. Safa Rigby had expected to hear her husband's voice when the phone rang one morning. Instead, the caller didn't even bother to say hello.

"You think you know your husband. You don't know him at all," said the man, a friend of her husband's. "His car is parked outside my house right now. He is with my ex-wife. They just got married last week," the man said.

It took a minute for the news to sink in. Then she called her husband of 14 years, demanding to know if what she had just been told was true – that while she spent a year in Egypt raising their four children in a more Islamic environment, he had used it as an opportunity to marry not just one, but two other women in Toronto.

"Yes, I'm married," he said, quashing all her dreams of their future together.

This part makes me particularly mad:

"I don't encourage people to do it, unless they have reason for it. Life ends up being very complicated. You have to jump from one house to another all the time," he said.

That's why Hindy advises men to keep the second marriage a secret as long as they can, even from the first wife.

What a way to foster trust in a marriage. Are women there just to do whatever you want with them, then discard them when you have used them up? Muslims are just using this as a way to "hook-up" and say that it's halal (allowed). This is disgusting!

Another article from the point of view of Safa's co-wife's ex husband: Polygamy is a Crime, Non?

Fouad Boutaya found out the law isn't quite as clear-cut as he thought when his wife married his friend and police said they could do nothing

~ A, Not Muslim Anymore ~

Women not as intelligent as men???

I got this message on a forum that I am on. Here is part of the message:

Some of the statements by Muhammed SAW are general statements which include exceptions to the rule. furthermore, you may be mistaken in thinking that because women fall short in intelligence i.e as compared to men, that this is the same as being stupid, or dumb...

So if we look at the context, its general, this does NOT mean you cannot find women more intelligent then men, indeed, there are exceptions BUT, we have to admit, men are more intelligent then women, generally speaking, if this is not true why are most men in science, goverment, etc.

So because women have not been in government, science, and many other things they are not as intelligent as men? What about the differences in education that men and women have gotten through the centuries? Women were supposed to be able to excel as much as men even without equal education?

Women have come a very long way in the past hundred years, when women have tried to get an equal education. Islam treats women like they are children. Why would I want to stay in a religion where people think I am stupid just because I am a woman??? Muslims are taught brainwashed to believe this, and even Muslim women think it about themselves! Talk about blind sheep.

A, not a blind sheep anymore!

Saudi Women Lobby King for Driving Right

JIDDAH, Saudi Arabia - For the first time ever, a group of women in the only country that bans female drivers have formed a committee to lobby for the right to get behind the wheel, and they plan to petition King Abdullah in the next few days for the privilege...

Good for them! It's not likely to do anything, however.

The last time the issue was raised was two years ago, when Mohammed al-Zulfa, a member of the unelected Consultative Council, asked his colleagues to think about studying the possibility of allowing women over age 35 or 40 to drive -- unchaperoned on city streets but accompanied by a male guardian on highways.

The suggestion touched off a fierce controversy that included calls for al-Zulfa's removal from the council and stripping him of Saudi citizenship, as well as accusations he was encouraging women to commit the double sins of discarding their veils and mixing with men.

Wow, taking away his citizen for suggesting that women drive? DOYC forbid that women discard their veils and mix with men.

A, veil-less and mixing with men on a daily basis

Women the world over find veil limits job choice

Interesting article. Intro:

DUBAI (Reuters) - Aysha Obeid couldn't get a job as a shop assistant in Dubai because of the veil that covered her face, exposing only her eyes to the outside world. So to improve her employment prospects, Obeid stopped wearing the veil.

"No one takes women with niqab in the retail sector," said Obeid, 22.

While women who cover up for their faith may expect problems getting some kinds of work outside the Muslim world, those in the region also say they have trouble getting jobs -- particularly ones requiring them to interact with the public.

Iran to intensify Dress Crackdown

Iran will intensify a crackdown on women flouting Islamic dress laws, a senior policeman has told local media.

Tehran police chief Ahmad Reza Radan said from 23 July twice as many police will tackle "immoral behaviour".

Hundreds of women have already been arrested and some beaten by police since the drive began in April, human rights groups say.

Great, instead of going after real crimes (murder, rape, robbery, etc.) they have to take women to jail for showing their hair. [sarcasm] Because we all know that women who show their hair are whores [/sarcasm]. What's next? Going out alone? DOYC (Deity of Your Choice) forbid!

A, hair today, gone tomorrow

Man Jailed Over "Bible" Rape

A Man who raped a Muslim woman because she showed an interest in Christianity has been jailed for at least five years by a Sydney court...

The men told her they [Christians] were "infidel people" and if she went with them, her killing "would be halal" - meaning her killer would go to heaven.

It states that she converted to Christianity (after this happened). Do you blame her the way he acted? Do they have to force people to stay in Islam in order to keep Muslims? If so, what does that say about Islam? A lot, to me.

He got 5 years in prison. Does 5 years seem even remotely long enough? No damn way!

A.

'Honor Killing' Sister Breaks her Silence

A really great article, and sad too.

The Introduction:

Britain was appalled by the horrific 'honour killing' of a girl murdered by her father for daring to kiss the man she loved.

Here, her sister, who narrowly escaped death herself and now lives in fear of her life, breaks her silence.

Every time Bekhal Mahmod leaves the safety of her home, she wears the hijab with a black veil covering her face - even though she would give anything for the freedom not to have to.

From Head Scarf to Army Cap, Making a New Life

Interesting article of Muslim women who joined the US Army after being abused/victimized by their Muslim families. Very inspiring!

A.

Women's Bill in Pakistani Assembly

Finally the women in Pakistan are getting their rights, but I seriously doubt that they will really get all the rights that the bill says they will.

Pakistan's national assembly has begun work on a bill to safeguard women's rights to property and inheritance.

The Prevention of Anti-Women Practices Bill seeks to ban various customs that deny women the right to marry or subject them to forced marriages.

Last November the assembly overcame bitter opposition from Islamic parties to amend the country's controversial rape laws...

The damn Islamic party is trying to keep women under the foot of the man. Now women can be jailed if they say a man raped them. Is the man in jail? No, there's not enough evidence. WTF??? I don't think there's any logic there.

Lastly it says:

The bill proposes that husbands who bring charges of infidelity against their wives under Islamic law but fail in their cases could face charges of slander.

In such cases, the wife would be given the power to initiate divorce proceedings.

Which means, in other words, they usually DON'T have the right to initiate divorce there. Islam treats women like they are children! And like we will just get mad every month when we are on our "monthly" and want to divorce our husbands!

When someone says that women in Islam got many rights in the 8th century that women didn't have anywhere else, ask them why they are still treated like it's the 8th century!

They need to treat women like the ADULTS we are! As long as women put up with this, in other words go along with it, it will keep happening. The "moderate" Muslims aren't making much headway in the actual lives of women in many Muslim countries, and some of them are not trying very hard.

A., lack of an appendage doesn't make me less of an adult

Veil Row in England

If you haven't read about it: No Discrimination in Veil Row.

Aishah Azmi, 23, was asked to remove the veil after the Church of England school in Dewsbury, West Yorks, said pupils found it hard to understand her.

The tribunal dismissed her claims of religious discrimination and harassment on religious grounds...

Headfield Church of England Junior School, which has 546 pupils, suspended Mrs Azmi because it said pupils found it hard to understand her during lessons.

Kirklees Council said the decision was taken after a monitoring period in which the impact of wearing the veil on the teaching and learning was studied.

I am against discrimination in women wearing hijab or niqab, but sometimes the situation just isn't conducive to someone wearing niqab. Teaching children at a Christian school is probably one of them. She brings up that if you call someone in a call center, you can't see what they are wearing. Yes that is true. But she wasn't working in a call center, and what you wear around children can impact their education.

I have posted an interesting interview with her above from You Tube (here's the link if you can't see it). You noticed the interviewer asks her several times if she wore a veil in front of a man during her interview. She kinda beats around the bush (doesn't really answer the question) before she answers that no, she didn't. She can't say that she can't take it off when she is teaching there, when she wasn't upfront and honest during her interview. It sounds like she is wearing it selectively. If you wear hijab or niqab and say it is obligatory on you, but only wear it sometimes, then that kind of negates your wearing it for religious reasons, doesn't it?

A, just my 2 cents.

Another ridiculous post that I have to comment on

A post I saw today about Polygamy Here

My husband believes that God knows the nature of men and He knew that a “typical” man would not be happy or satisfied with one woman so, He allowed polygamy in Islam...

I, on the other hand, think that when God knew that men would mostly be “typical” and would not be satisfied with one woman..

Sorry but that's another big load of crap today (see the previous post, not sure which is the biggest one). A typical man can't be satisified with one woman? What are women, just a place for him to satisfy himself? Sorry but this is just an excuse that men make up so they can have more than one woman. In Islam they say it's ok since they're married, but many Muslim men just marry because their wife is away and they want to have sex. They don't spend equal time with their first wife, they want to spend all their time with the new, more exciting (for now) one. Plus in the Western countries they cannot legally marry more than one woman, so the woman doesn't have the protection of the law. Don't give me "but he will give her her rights." That's another load of bull.

Most men can be satisfied with one woman, but not if they want to find any excuse not to be. Those are not typical men, they are just idiots.

Islam is supposed to allow polygamy so that women can have a husband and protection, plus have legal sex with a man, since that's not allowed outside marriage, esp. if she is divorced/widowed and it's not very easy for her to find a husband, not just as an excuse for a guy who wants to someone new and younger to screw around with.

Muslims regularly argue with non-Muslims that certain verses or Prophetic traditions (ahadith) were taken out of context or not read within the context in which they were revealed/said, but the verse on polygamy is never read within the context in which it was revealed.

But sometimes things are in black and white, and saying you are taking them out of context is just excusing the real meaning (such as the verse in the Quran saying men can beat their wives, read it here: Quran 4:34)

If a Muslim woman remarries, her children from the first husband automatically go to the father.

This is mostly cultural. In most muslim countries a man won't accept or take care of children from another man. Easy way out of that: just send the kids away. So what the woman is only the mother if she is with their father? If she is with someone else she is not their mother and won't put their well-being above her own? I have a big problem with that. "Islam respects women," but we'll take away their kids if they want to remarry. Hmm, somehow I missed the respect there.

A, try to take my kids away and you may die trying.

There's just too much wrong with this thinking!

I just read this American Muslim's blog post here

There's so much wrong with this guy's thoughts I don't know where to begin! He blames "feminism" for all ills in society:

From its origins in the Secular West feminism has spread like a cancer through the entire world as a modern version of Western imperialism...

First of all, what is "feminism"? Is it women getting the right not to be beaten up, and to be able to call the police if her husband is beating her up and him getting arrested? Years ago the police did almost nothing unless she was almost dead. They still don't do much in many Muslim countries. Is it women getting the right to vote decades ago, which they didn't get in some Arab/Muslim countries even today, or only recently? Is it women being able to go to any college or get any job without discrimination? Is it the right to marry who she wants, and to leave that marriage if she is not happy or if she is being abused? If that is feminism, then it has greatly improved this country and the world! It's not to blame for all of society's problems.

Today women work so they can shop till they drop and women have fueled the culture of consumerism and materialism that we see today.

All women are working so they can just buy stuff? First of all, many women are single parents. They are working so they and their kids can have a roof over their heads, not just to buy designer purses. Second, even if they are married, it many times takes two incomes to afford a decent life for a family. It's not the 50's anymore. Things are less affordable now. Having a house and 2 cars and cable doesn't make you rich. Third, if you take the time and money to go to college, why wouldn't you use your education? I am glad I was home with my kids when they were young, but not everyone can do that. Plus I needed time out of the house for my own sanity but I rarely got it (both the time and my sanity *grin). I do know people who work so they can have more "stuff", but most people I know work out of necessity.

In talking about the woman working and not being with the children:

For poor families this time is often a time when kids get into trouble and experiment with sex, alcohol, drugs and crime

Only poor kids get in trouble and do drugs and alcohol and have sex? Where is he living?

With no clear head of the household there is no order and a constant fight for power which has sent millions of couples to divorce or thera-pimps.

Why should one person or the other be the "clear head of the household"? What makes men better than women? Why should one person "rule"? Sorry but I don't live in a dictatorship or a kingdom! When I was married, I told my husband he was more like a co-President. I elected him, but he could always be impeached!

...the kids have no discipline as the male disciplinarian has been stripped of his role (and many times his manhood) and the kids run the show. We see this today as your average high school girl goes to school dressed like a hooker...

Oh so only men can disclipline the children? Women are just wimps? What is the mother then? Just a rent-a-womb and udder, maid, cook, etc?

A breakdown in traditional gender relations and the criminalization of masculinity has caused a breakdown in the moral and social order.

So if women stayed at home, barefoot and pregnant, in the bedroom and kitchen, life would be just peachy? Men should be the "clear head" of the household and disclipline the kids and wife, then everyone would be happy? That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard!

A.

Muslims are not Required to Cover Up

Muslims are not Required to Cover Up

This is an interesting article from a site that is moderate muslim (link is on my blog) and has articles criticizing some things about Muslims or Islam.

A few quotes from the article:

There is not a single reference in the Koran that obliges Muslim women to cover their hair or their face. The only verse that comes close to such a dress code (Sura 24, "The Light," verse 31) directs believing women to let their head coverings obscure their bosoms...

Beyond fashion, however, this supposed symbol of modesty has assumed a decidedly political and religious tenor, dominating the debate on civil liberties and religious freedoms in the West. Any opposition to the hijab is viewed as a manifestation of Islamophobia...

An inquiry into historical precedent, however, suggests the Koran does not mandate the hijab at all.

It should be noted that the khimar, a head scarf that predated the hijab, was worn by Arab women before the Koran's stipulations on modesty of dress and demeanour. Verse 24:31 did not introduce the garment, but modified its use when it said that Muslim women should "wear their head-coverings over their bosoms" -- previously, they were left bare, although decked with jewellery and ornaments.

The intent of the verse was to exhort believing women to cover their nakedness rather than their hair, which was left partially uncovered even though the khimar was a head dress. Moreover, the khimar was never rooted in religious precept -- it was rooted in custom. Modifications for its use were introduced into Islamic practice when the religion spread into Byzantine and Persian territories, where once again the head dress was prevalent as a social custom.

Their conclusion:

Islamists have turned the hijab into the central pillar of Islam. They consider Muslim women who do not cover their heads -- the vast majority -- as sinners or lesser Muslims. They should come out and debate the issue rather than using young Muslim girls as shields to pursue a political agenda.

I agree with the fact that Muslims who do wear hijab look down on other Muslims who don't wear it. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. Hijab isn't a piller of Islam. When you become Muslim you don't swear to wear it. Why is it the end-all and be-all of being Muslim? Isn't what is more important what is in your heart and how you treat others?

I got a comment this week that says:

What makes you think that Islam treats women like dirt? Is it because of the order from Allah swt to cover parts of your body that can make men go wild?

Ok, so women's body parts MAKE men go wild? They don't have their own brain that can say, "Hey, stop looking at that woman's breasts/butt/any body part?" This is ridiculous! Men take responsiblity for yourselves! Don't blame women if you are staring at a woman. Don't act like she MADE you look at her or she MADE you want her! Yes Islam treats women like dirt if they blame the woman if the guy stares at her or wants her. Men do have a big brain, they don't just think with their little brain all the time (just most of the time).

I once saw a cartoon in a Muslim magazine with 2 men sitting on a bench. Several non-muslim (meaning not covered) women walked by and one guy would be staring at them. But when a covered woman went by, he didn't look at her at all. Double standard anyone? Is it ok for muslim men to treat non-muslim women like they are sex-objects, but to treat women who cover like they are not? Not all muslim men act like that, I know some who don't.

But is this person being serious, blaming women for what men do? "Oh she made me rape her officer, because she was wearing a mini-skirt." Riight. Don't even get me started on countries such as Pakistan where women are jailed for saying they are raped, but of course there is not enough evidence to put the man in jail.

A, who doesn't take the blame for what anyone else does!

How does Polygamy benefit the first wife?

I found this web site and was reading the story of a "first wife". Her husband married another wife and just let her know he was getting married. She goes through years of depression. At first she cannot even take care of her children. So they basically have lost both parents.

Then she says:

How does polygamy benefit the first wife?...I came to the conclusion that the first wife is actually sacrificing herself for the pleasure of Allah...

The blessing of polygamy is that through the trial, if a sister endures and is patient, she will mature as a Muslim and become stronger in her faith. A Muslim woman who endures polygamy will increase in faith, insha’Allah, simply by enduring the hardships of polygamy and trying to be patient and steadfast.

So her kids lose time with their mother that they can never get back, have to take care of themselves while their mother can't get out of bed being depressed because her husband felt she wasn't good enough and had to get another wife. What is she going to say to them? That it's for Allah? All because her husband couldn't stay away from another woman!

I hope she can pay for her children's therapy when they grow up, and that they still talk to her. This will affect them the most of all. She is sacrificing them by staying in this relationship and by acting like it will make her a better person. It's a load of something alright!

Here's a little more from her site:

The Muslim sister in polygamy suffers much pain and hurt on an on going basis, which presents ample opportunity for her sins to be forgiven.

So life has to be full of pain and hurt or we go to hell? What happened to Allah AR-RAHMÂN (The Most Compassionate, The Beneficent The Gracious) AR-RAHÎM (The Merciful)? Did he go somewhere, or he's just not as merciful or compassionate as Muslims claim him to be?

Just something to think about before bed...

A.

Wife’s petition to leave hubby is rejected

Wife’s petition to leave hubby is rejected

ABU DHABI — The Federal Supreme Court has ordered a woman not to leave her husband and travel abroad without his permission.

Court records show a woman filed a lawsuit at the Abu Dhabi Shariah Court of First Instance seeking divorce and the payment of her deferred dowry. She alleged that her husband assaulted her.

The husband filed a counter suit, requesting the court to ask his wife not to leave his house or travel abroad without his permission. He also wanted to keep her passport and other official documents in his possession.

The Abu Dhabi Shariah Court of First Instance dismissed the wife’s petition and ordered her not to leave her husband and travel abroad without his permission.

The wife contested the verdict at the Abu Dhabi Shariah Court of Appeal, which ruled in her favour.

The husband approached the Federal Supreme Court, contending that the previous ruling should be declared null and void since it was based on his wife’s claims, which she failed to substantiate with evidence.

The court rejected his wife’s plea and ordered her to live with her husband and asked her not to travel abroad without his permission. The court said the woman failed to prove that her allegations were true.

This is a VERY idiotic way of treating women. We're just property to keep under lock and key, unless the court (staffed by men judges, I am sure) says otherwise? Umm, short answer: NO! Long answer: Hell No! And what chance is there of that? Probably very small. Just one of the many reasons I left Islam.

A., who doesn't let any man tell her what to do and is proud of it!

As barrier comes down, a Muslim split remains

As barrier comes down, a Muslim split remains "The Islamic Society of San Francisco took the controversial step of tearing down the barrier separating male and female worshippers."

Read the full story at the link above. In many mosques there is a barrier between where men and women pray, or even a separate room (usually a much smaller room, sometimes in a balcony where it can be hot and stuffy). The women in this mosque wanted to hear the sermons better and be able to follow the prayer. Now there is a controvery about not having the barrier during prayer. The men say they don't want distractions during prayer. Well instead of putting the women behind a wall, maybe they should take responsiblity for how they act around women. It's not hard to be a gentleman and not stare at women when they are not seen or heard. Do they think women are going to be flirting with them or something? The women are fully clothed, plus covering at least their hair, if not their face.

Since the Saudi's began having oil money to build or support mosques in the US, the mosques are more and more segregated, since this is what they insist on if it's their money funding it or supporting it. Women don't have much of a say in the Muslim community, the men are in charge of pretty much everything. Women need to have a voice, they should not just be not seen and not heard.

A.

Jordanian women face an unequal fight for equal rights

Jordanian women face an unequal fight for equal rights

This an interesting article. I lived in Amman, Jordan for about 1 1/2 years (from January 1999-May 2000). The more religious people seem to get, the less rights women seem to have, le sigh. I'm very glad I am not raising my kids in any Muslim country. With all the problems the US has, you still have the right to practice your religion of choice, or not to follow any religion.

A couple of excerpts from the article:

24/03/2006: During the past 10 years, there have been attempts to amend laws related to the rights of women in order to enhance their status and social and economic role, and protect them from violations and violence, including what are known as "honor crimes." (The Daily Star Lebanon).

Yet these efforts have shown very limited progress, meeting strong resistance from traditional and religious actors who control the Jordanian Parliament and impose their cultural and behavioral practices upon wide sectors of Jordanian society. These campaigns have also encountered political obstacles that can be traced in part to Jordan's demographic structure.

Continuous efforts by Jordanian women's organizations, supported by human rights activists and the Jordanian political leadership, have produced some amendments to marriage and divorce laws. The legal minimum age for the marriage of girls was raised to 18 years, and women obtained the right of divorce, or kholu, by which they could start divorce procedures based on certain conditions such as restitution of all dowry money.

During the past few years, several attempts to amend Article 340 of the Penal Code have failed. This article sometimes provides a "lawful" excuse for criminals who assault women or murder them to protect "family honor." The murderer in an honor crime, usually one of the victim's closest relatives, receives a commuted sentence or several months' imprisonment. The result is that 15-25 women continue to be murdered annually in Jordan. Despite civil and religious campaigns against such crimes, Jordanian society, yielding to traditional and religious influence, continues to sympathize with honor crime murderers and finds excuses and justifications for their act.

There can be no doubt that the spread of Islam in Jordanian society over the past two or three decades has contributed to the formation of a sociopolitical front opposing legislative initiatives by Jordanian civil society and its active women's organizations. The Muslim Brotherhood has grown stronger and has come to control a large number of active non-governmental organizations, such as professional unions and student councils. Its infrastructure of educational, service, cultural and other social institutions extends to cover a broad section of society, including those people living in the poorest areas.

A.