About me and My thoughts on Islam

I had these posts on another blog, but decided to make keep that blog personal, and make this blog for more serious posts.

This is my intro post: About me and how I left Islam, and my feelings about it.

I became Muslim in 1992, after reading about it for over a year. After being married to several Muslim men and living in a Muslim country (Jordan), I have come to realize that this isn't something I want in my life or that I want to raise my kids in.

On paper Islam, like many things (communism for example), sounds great. One of the things I liked about it when I was reading about was the rights of women in Islam. They have their own identity; keep their own family name when they get married, keep any money they earn, inherit, etc; can choose who to marry and can initiate a divorce, and on and on.

However, in practice I have realized that men are the ones controlling the rights the women get. Most mosques you go to in the US won't give a Muslim women an Islamic divorce, even if the guy abandoned her or is a wife-beater, until they talk to him and he agrees. Many Muslims believe a woman has to ask her husband's permission to go out of the house. That is not in the Quran at all. They treat women like they are children and too stupid to do anything themselves. In most Muslim countries the woman can't get a divorce if the guy doesn't want one, even if he has another wife. In Egypt if the guy has another wife you can get one, thanks to Jihan's law. Also in Egypt the woman CAN get divorce, but she has to give up all rights to support.

In Islam the woman is respected for bearing the children and taking care of them. But in reality, women are the ones doing all the work with no recognition by the men, and if they divorce the man gets the kids. He's not going to be the one taking care of them. They will be stuck with his mom or sister, or his wife, the latter usually doesn't treat them as her own (blood is thicker than water kind of thing).

So in reality things are not what they seem to be. Yes Islam gave women rights in the 8th century that were unheard of until the late 19th century in many "civilized" countries. But...now they are stuck in the 8th century as far as the rights the women actually HAVE. I don't want to live that way, or my daughter to be raised thinking she is not as good as a boy or man just because she is female. She shouldn't be ruled over by men. I want her to grow up to be independent and be her own person and make her own decisions. That is how I was raised. Yes I choose to be in Islam, but I have chosen to leave it. They have the right to choose what they want for their lives.

The Quran also has some things that are disturbing to me, such as the verse that says you can beat your wife (Quran 4:34). No matter what Muslim apologists say, that is what it says. They usually put (lightly) in there but that's not what the verse says, that is added in the translation to placate non-muslims. Muslims try to counter that in many ways, but it's there in black and white. Do I want to be in a religion that says that, or have my daughter be married to someone who may think he can hit her if he thinks she is disobeying him?

Muhammad's hadith (sayings and doings of the prophet) also said that he Prophet said, "Isn't the witness of a women equal to half that of a man?" The women said "yes". He said "This is because of the deficiency of the women's mind." (Sahih al-Bukhari, volume 3, hadith 826). Well sorry but women are as smart as and in many cases smarter than men! No way I want my daughter growing up believing that, or marrying someone who believes that. When I became Muslim I think I was looking for a community where I could belong, and just looked past things like this or accepted things that Muslims say to "explain this" like that men and women have different roles in life and society, separate but equal kind of thing. NOT! Men and women are different physically and mentally, but that doesn't mean that men are smarter than women or they should be able to tell them what to do or what not to do like they are children.

There are other things that bother me about Islam as well. One is that it is very PC to say that Islam is not a violent religion. But in reality there is a lot of violence in the Quran. The religion was spread by the sword by Muhammad and later generations. It didn't spread slowly by Muslims going to the countries and living there, they took over the countries, killed people, took slaves.

There is a lot of violence in Muslim and Western countries over the infamous cartoons. I don't like them, but being raised in a country based on free speech, I can't take away someone's right to their free speech. Here in the US we make fun of everybody: in cartoons in the newspaper, stand-up comics, late night talk shows. You can make fun of the President, politicians, practically anyone and everyone are targets at one time or another, including religions. Even though I don't like them, and I don't think the newspaper should have printed something that can be viewed as racist, why do they have to be violent about it? There's no excuse for that. To me it's just another example of Muslims being violent and making excuses for it.

Now at their father's house it is a TOTALLY different story! He doesn't think they have a choice. He married a young woman from Egypt about 4 years ago, and they are very "cultural" at his house. They tell my daughter that she will go to hell if she wears skorts (shorts that look like a skirt) or doesn't wear a scarf. He told my son that you can't marry a non-Muslim or you go to hell, but HELLO, did he forget? HE was married to a non-Muslim! What a hypocrite! When my son brought up that little "forgotten" fact he didn't answer of course. Do as I say not as I do! He tells them not to lie, but he lies in court under oath.

Everything here is my own opinion. If you don't like my view, you are certainly entitled to your own opinion and your own blog. This is my view on a religion I was involved in for 12 years, and that I choose to leave. If it's right for someone else, then more power to them, but it's not right for me, and I will not raise my children in it.